Dating/Friendships

Estil17:
There is a major problem I seem to have and it really frustrates me as I feel like I keep making this same mistake over and over again. I often come on too strong too soon (online I mean) and I end up scarring the other person away :,(

Like, there was someone here who was really one of a kind, one in a billion, thought she might be "The One" but as I often do I stupidly came on too strong and she ended up ghosting me, even after she reassured me (because I kept asking to make sure I was doing everything right) that "You are fine" and she would say "I appreciate that". I mean, I thought maybe I had some appeal for her but...as I often do, I blow it. :,( And of course I've had more than my fair share of catfishers too I'm sorry to say.

I wish I could somehow learn from my mistakes and do better...I've been quite depressed and lonely lately (seasonal changes probably don't help that any) and it might be that it will soon be 2 1/2 years since my wife passed away. Still, can anyone help me be as appealing and persuasive and all that as I can? And try not to come off too strong too soon? I know that's my main problem by far...

Estil17:
There is a major problem I seem to have and it really frustrates me as I feel like I keep making this same mistake over and over again. I often come on too strong too soon (online I mean) and I end up scarring the other person away :,(

Like, there was someone here who was really one of a kind, one in a billion, thought she might be "The One" but as I often do I stupidly came on too strong and she ended up ghosting me, even after she reassured me (because I kept asking to make sure I was doing everything right) that "You are fine" and she would say "I appreciate that". I mean, I thought maybe I had some appeal for her but...as I often do, I blow it. :,( And of course I've had more than my fair share of catfishers too I'm sorry to say.

I wish I could somehow learn from my mistakes and do better...I've been quite depressed and lonely lately (seasonal changes probably don't help that any) and it might be that it will soon be 2 1/2 years since my wife passed away. Still, can anyone help me be as appealing and persuasive and all that as I can? And try not to come off too strong too soon? I know that's my main problem by far...

Estil17:
No but I do have mental/emotional issues (ADHD, Aspergers, PTSD to name a few) and I do have to take a few prescriptions to help it. I'm also legally disabled (SSDI) as well. I have tried therapy but it doesn't seem to do much good and worse, sometimes I come there and have nothing I can think of to talk about.

Forgive me I'm not very good at explaining things in such a way that doesn't come out wrong...

Letters And Numbers:
Therapy doesn’t just stop when you don’t click well with your therapist. That just means you need to try someone else. Give it another try.

Estil17:
I don't know what it is they could tell me that I don't already know...and I don't think they'd be much help on these kind of matters.

Letters And Numbers:
Therapy doesn’t just stop when you don’t click well with your therapist. That just means you need to try someone else. Give it another try.

Estil17:
I don't know what it is they could tell me that I don't already know...and I don't think they'd be much help on these kind of matters.

Munchies:
I have ASD and PTSD. I struggled a lot with relationships because of it. So I took a 5 year dating hiatus to work on myself. I struggled to understand social cues, so I learned what they were and how to communicate effective to smooth out misunderstandings. I have PTSD, so I learned healthy coping mechanisms as well as dealing with my trauma.

I'm not 100% better. More like 60% to 80% depending on the day. And I am always trying to improve.

It doesn't sound like you are ready to date yet. It's not because of your mental illness. Instead, it doesn't sound like you've learned to self regulate.

Estil17:
Oh I'm nowhere near the "dating" part yet...for right now I'm just trying to find to get good at the online part!

Munchies:
I have ASD and PTSD. I struggled a lot with relationships because of it. So I took a 5 year dating hiatus to work on myself. I struggled to understand social cues, so I learned what they were and how to communicate effective to smooth out misunderstandings. I have PTSD, so I learned healthy coping mechanisms as well as dealing with my trauma.

I'm not 100% better. More like 60% to 80% depending on the day. And I am always trying to improve.

It doesn't sound like you are ready to date yet. It's not because of your mental illness. Instead, it doesn't sound like you've learned to self regulate.

Estil17:
Oh I'm nowhere near the "dating" part yet...for right now I'm just trying to find to get good at the online part!

Letters And Numbers:
Not trying to be rude or dismissive, but maybe a fetish website is not the right place to learn how to express yourself online. Why not start with a space that’s about hobbies or something less heavy?

Estil17:
Because I do feel passionately about my eh, special interests in my profile (I don't know if "fetish" is exactly right). I already have a couple of forums I frequent for my "normal" hobbies.

Munchies:
So, what is your goal? What do you want?

Estil17:
To ultimately find my Princess Charming and live happily ever after of course! No matter how long it ends up taking...